The Needs of the Few

First let me say the following:
1-I will be dramatically increasing my blog posts from the measly ONE from three weeks ago. :)
2-Sorry about the drought.
3-What is swirling in my mind tonight is nothing close to what I'd intended to post. But, I implore you to read on for a glimpse of my deep-rooted intrinsic motivation. We'll get back to the lighter side tomorrow.

I'm a people-pleaser. Well, at least I try to be. I've backed off of it a LOT in recent years and for those who have only met me recently, that may come as a shock. I have always tried to read people and figure out their story and what drives them and the psychology behind it. I have a friend at work that has found herself on more than one occasion at lunch with me sitting across the table trying desperately to dissect various people in our work environment and "explain" them (and their behaviors). I've always thought I was pretty good at giving the benefit of the doubt. Until a couple of years ago, I thought that others did the same. You know the drill: the world is inherently good, people try to find the best in others, etc etc. Some days I like to believe that still exists for the majority. Other days, I experience the stark reality that some folks just aren't wired to see much past themselves.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a co-worker where I was expressing concern about another co-worker that was feeling very upset by a certain treatment they received and had been receiving from several in our office, in one way or another. While the particular incident I was addressing was very "small" in the grand scheme of things, it was a big deal to them. The co-worker with whom I was talking said (in a very flippant attitude while shrugging shoulders), "Here, the needs of the many will always outweigh the needs of the few." This is a mantra that I've found to be very true when you work in HR. It is a very fine line to balance the needs of the community as a whole with the needs of the business, the needs of individuals, etc.

Then I asked myself, "But, don't the needs of the few build into the needs of many?" When did we stop considering how hurtful it can be to people when they are overlooked or not taken seriously? While I completely understand that we cannot spend all of our days focused on one person at a time, we do need to take a step back and think about how we interact with each other. This, in turn, led me to look to myself and my effect on those around me.

In my recent professional life I've been asked repeatedly "What motivates you?" Most of the time it has been in the compensation classroom scenario. My very deep, very authentic answer is quite simply, "Affecting positive change." The things I consider to be my successes are the situations where I've been able to positively affect someone's life. Some days that can be a job evaluation that leads to positive conversations of promotions! Some days it is simply sitting down with someone and listening to what they have to say. Laptop closed. Ears open. Plans made.

There have been SEVERAL days of late that I've felt just like my co-worker. Folks show up late to meetings with me, if they show up at all. I begin to speak and get talked over like I wasn't even in the room. There's no room at the table, so I'm placed off to the side. I hear that some folks say to others "Oh, it's just Lindsey. She'll be ok." And, while I know that I will, in fact, be ok, it still sucks. I've never set out to be the most important person in the room; most of the time, I am just content being IN the room. I know that I'm the needs of the few. But I'm not alone, and in that, the others and I become the many. This sounds like a pity party, but it truly isn't. It has sparked a fire within me to affect positive change.

I've pledged to radiate as much positivity as possible into the world around me. You want change? You have to be it. I need to listen more, pay attention and be fair. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that if you spend a few minutes with someone and really try to focus on them, hear what they say and genuinely care about their existence, great things will happen. It could be what they need to go out and change the world. They could, in turn, do the same for another. The larger scale effects could be mind-blowing.

All because you took 5 minutes to consider the needs of the few.

"With Malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds." 
- Abraham Lincoln